Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this will be a night to untag.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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