Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
