I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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