I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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