I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
