she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
