I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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