never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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