So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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