We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
