you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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