he puts the penis in happiness.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
