Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
