Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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