Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
