actually, I'm a sock model
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
