i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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