I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize