if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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