just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
