I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize