Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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