i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
