and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we're so committed to being not committed
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