I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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