i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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