so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
