What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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