Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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