I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
