Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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