We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
