i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
