If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
