Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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