Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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