i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
