I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize