I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
