i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
