When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
