Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
