So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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