Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize