i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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