I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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