i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
