So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Randomize
