your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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