If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
