im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You may now shotgun with the bride
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
