Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
