toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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