do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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