I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
