So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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