hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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