Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
