He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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