Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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