Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
