just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
