you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
