just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
