my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
