There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
