don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
