You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I have post one night stand depression
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize