Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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