She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
