And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
