i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
