i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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