apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
